After receiving his terminal cancer diagnosis, Gary F. Kelly wanted to prepare for dying and find meaning in the experience. His memoir recounts his journey from the initial visit to see his doctor about some unusual discomfort and fatigue through his days of hospice care to the death that he imagines. He shares his gratitude when a compassionate nurse squeezes his hand as a needle is inserted into his liver and his anguish when his difficulty swallowing makes eating and drinking nearly impossible.
Kelly cherishes the comforting family rituals of Thanksgiving and Christmas, marks such milestones as no longer being able to drive, and records the uncertain rhythms of terminal illness as new cancer sites appear, symptoms multiply, and the debilitating effects of treatment increase.
Along this journey of dying, he wrestles with: What can he learn? Can he find meaning and value in dying comparable to that which he found in living? How does he face the end of life with dignity and grace? As a therapist says to him, “Dying is hard work.”






